The Top 50 Things that “Clients” Like to say to their Architects


(Note: The most popular & often used client comments are highlighted for your convenience)


1. “How come your fee is so damn high?”
2. “What did you NOT understand about what I said?”
3. “That 2.25% fee includes Architecture, Structural, MEP and Full Time C.A., doesn’t it?”
4. “What do you mean S.D., D.D., C.D.’s……Just start the damn Construction Drawings.”
5. “Design Development is just a method for Architects to drive up their fees.”
6. “What do you mean “PROGRAM”? Can’t you just design it or something?”
7. “Can you make these changes to building “G” and will that cost anymore to do so?”
8. “What do you mean that’s ADDED scope?”
9. “Why do Architects believe that it won’t work unless it has something other than 90-degree angles?”
10. “The General Contractor told me that it cost more now because they didn’t include your original detail 2/A100 in their price. What do you intend to do about that?”
11. “Why is it that every time you pull out a roll of tracing paper it costs me a boat-load of money?”
12. “What do you mean that you want a budget to design to?
13. “We’re over budget…!!!”
14. “O.K., I’ll tell you what you can do with your “Meaningful Architecture”………”
15. “If I hear you say “That’s going to be cool” one more time, I’m going to blow an aneurysm all over your damn drawings!!!!”
16. “I know that I told you to add that, however, can we save any money by value engineering that?”
17. “I hear you; I know that it’s code, however do we really need those fire exits?”
18. “……………And I need that by 10 am tomorrow……”
19. “Is EFIS a cheaper exterior wall solution than polished granite veneer?”
20. “I don’t really think that EFIS will visually change the Architectural character of the building…………….do you?”
21. “Our “Performa” states that our hard costs must not exceed $125 per S.F. Given what we want, “can you guarantee that cost?”……..................................................No, seriously!!!!!”
22. “According to the C.M., they have unequivocally stated that it’s your fault that the drywall is $1.2 million over budget. They said that you didn’t make it clear in your pricing documents that the scope would be as extensive as shown in the 56 gypsum board details” provided.
23. “I can’t believe that this project is 30% over budget……!!!
24. “Why SHOULD we carry a contingency?
25. “The way you performed on this project…, well, thank God that you’re not a brain surgeon!!”
26. “Now I’d like to think that you and I have developed more than just a professional relationship, you know……, kind of a friendship as a client / Architect. We’ve been through a lot together and we have had many mutual successes along the way…………......... However, my attorney advises me that you would be money ahead to just settle for the $150,000 deductible and just move ahead with building our relationship.”
27. “I thought that your fee included those 250 sets of drawings and specs.”
28. “I’d like to talk with you about your project manager. I’m not sure that he’s the appropriate person for this project. He is relentless when it comes to insisting on delivering a product that will perform, he continually discusses methods to manage the schedule, and continually discusses ways to manage the costs within the budget. I don’t think he really understands what we’re looking for!”
29. “The team brought us here, the team will get us out of this”
30. “I know you believe that you have reduced your fee as far as you can go. However, just remember………………………………, we have a lot more of where this came from……!!!”
31. “You will be paid for the previous 6 months once I have the opportunity to run the request for those fees past Corporate and receive their approval.”
32. “By the way……, I need 15 copies of the Design Development drawings sent to my office. I’d like to present those to “Corporate”.”
33. ”Let me explain MY vision of “Means & Methods”. I “Means” to beat the crap out of your fee, and I really don’t care what “Method” I use to do it.”
34. “You obviously didn’t listen to your Dad when he suggested Vet Medicine as a career.”
35. “I don’t like it, it’s not the right solution, and for me to call it a piece of crap would only compliment this masterpiece. By the way, are you having lunch catered to this meeting?”
36. “We should discuss this over a few beers on the golf course……………”
37. “Please understand, “Quality” is our number one priority with “Aesthetics and Cost” running a close 2nd & 3rd.”
38. “How much cost can we avoid by eliminating the vapor barrier?”
39. “Well, let me clarify. If my capital hard costs are a net 65% of the anticipated market sales price with a factor of 7.5% carry annualized over the next 1 ½ years, an annual inflationary rate of 8% along with soft costs at 18% of the projected gross fiscal exposure on this venture…………………Well what I’m actually trying to articulate is your stinking A/E fee will limit my profits to slightly more than a multiple 7 digit net gain……………..…!”
40. “~**-_^#,::”\+…..!!!!*=!!!”
41. “Who gave you the right to assume you know what we’re looking for?”
42. “My Construction Manager has informed me that they have just discovered an additional 68 cost issues, with the majority of those added costs dating as far back as 23 months ago! I would like for you to review those for entitlement and merit. By the way, where have you been for 23 months and why didn’t you step up at the time, identify these costs, and mitigate the same!!!???”
43. “Have I told you that I hold the Architectural profession in the highest esteem?”
44. ”Sue me? I’ll just politely ask you to stand in line.”
45. “I’ll get back with you on that……………”
46. “I will check with my assistant, however, I know the check was mailed early last week.”
47. “Have I asked you why your fee is so damn high?”
48. “We’re having a fund-raiser to mitigate costs of the project grand opening. Would you like to contribute?”
49. “I know that it’s important to have your fee collateralized and secured over the next 150 days while I’m finalizing our financing for this project, and I would really like to address that for you this afternoon. However, I’m scheduled to take delivery of my new 500 SL Mercedes at 3 PM today and my wife and I are later hosting our investment club for drinks and a light dinner on the Veranda at our Country Club this evening. I hope you understand.”
50. “My Dad was an Architect.”